I remember my discussion about Carl Jung. He has this topic about each of us have hidden traits that we kept to ourselves. We have this thing that he called Shadow.
I got plenty of it to my area of insecurities. I’ve never been really as happy as what I look. I have issues, its just that my system of handling it is miraculously good. Making back to the main steak here, this bum life really got me into the highest point of meditation so far. I have come to conclude that my life isn’t been turning really well. It may looked okay but not.
Got no more money to sustain my trips. I’ve got skinnier. Yeah, been uglier than before. Never been beautiful really. Got no work, been sickly lately. I think I might have cancer in my stomach or in my brain. I’ve got no one, no friends to talk to, special someones been busy. I think I need a drive way out of this.
Even if we don’t like it, we keep tagging ourselves along this labyrinth. I remembered my last book, “Looking for Alaska” – to seek a great perhaps. We always look for it, we even ironed it to our minds that in order to reach success we need to suffer, I learned that from the bible. Maybe thats the reaso we love the suffering and we bear to it.
However Ive read from an article that many people died without reaching their purpose in life. One thing that strucks me the most from that read is that we are astrayed because we are not hearing ourselves, we live the way other people wants us. Now thats what connects me to my insecurities. I am living behind others’ shadow. Fvck other people. Fvck being a man who cant live in an island alone. Fvck mainstream.