I Am Selfish For A Reason

Why is happiness easily be overshadowed by loneliness? Why smiles don’t last forever? Why can’t we stay in cloud nine for the rest of our days? Why does beautiful days last? Why does the sun sets? Why does a day pass? Why is it bad to be selfish? Why am I selfish?

I really love this day. It started so great and ended so sweet. I had a comforting sleep, my first alarm was too mellow and that’s because of my beautiful android app. Then I went back to bed treasuring a day with no scheduled interviews to attend. I was greedy with my sleep when suddenly a phone call from my man rung my phone. Shockingly, he told me that he’ll ‘just’  drop by some goodies. Heartwarming, ofcourse but bruising because we cannot spend a whole day together. He just came back from his batch tour. He was annoyingly such a pain in the ass because he made me miss him so much. Ten days travel is a misery. Having him so far from me and not physically present gave me bundles of needle-pricked in my heart. This is one of those helpless moment, you can’t do anything and all you have to do is to wait.

But now that he’s back, it is me who’s running away from him. When he called I know for the fact that I wanted to see him, but I am still not ready to face his mom. His mom is in a vacation right now and chances of meeting each other is perfectly high. After hearing his voice, which sounded mad because I was being ambiguous. I let him drop by the stuffs after telling me that his mom will not come because she’s having a dental procedure. Sign of relief I hastily responded a yes. I get to have what I really wanted. Him and him alone, even for just a few moments.

He was running late and when he was nearing my house he asked permission of kidnapping me for a while. I never hesitated for my yes. We went to Tamiya to withdraw but because I am a spontaneous, we ended up to where his mom is. His mom was cool, funny and approachable. She talks a lot which made the conversation on going. You will not have dead air with her. We’ve just met but we were exchanging convos, and I am happy that it went that way. They treated me for lunch, watched Miguel and his dentist and we went to a subdivision to look at model houses. It was really cool. I really enjoyed everything. I even had some catch up time with my highschool friend, Monneth. I also met along places my gradeschool classmates. I had a sumptuous dinner and a JCO doughnut.

At almost midnight, Miguel and I was on the phone talking about random thoughts of events. But after we’ve realized of the time, I even realized another thing. That day was so fulfilling, but I guess that day already ended. What’s worst is, I’m going to be missing more of him for he will leave again. My summer is getting over. Why do all good things come to an end? I started to realize that I am selfish. I am selfish. I wanted him. I wanted a beautiful day. I wanted summer. But what I really being selfish about is, ” I JUST WANTED TO BE HAPPY with him”.


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